toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
tell your sister to shave her snatch
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
