I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
