We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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