Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
