I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
