Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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