Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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