I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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