how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
