he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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