"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
