Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
