Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
