dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
