Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
