she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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