from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
