i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
