I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
