Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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