I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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