Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
did i walk over a car last night?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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