This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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