No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
