The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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