Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
