he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
