There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Boobs speak an international language.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
