hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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