I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
