I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
