wakey wakey hands off snakey
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
