She's like a pop up book from hell.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
