yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
