My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
