The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
