The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Will exercising make me less horny?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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