you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
