Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
