Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Randomize
