new low.... made out with someone while peeing
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
