lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
