I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
