so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
