my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
