I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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