some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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