Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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