i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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