Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
