no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
