You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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